Saturday, September 29, 2007
We made it.
(Click photo for Facebook albums)
School is finally over. I don't say that with great excitement or great enthusiasm. I say it with great sadness. All my life as it is now, I have imagined this very day as one of victory and celebration. It is, but never did I imagine the feelings of overwhelming sadness that comes together with the end. It's been such a great journey -- the ups and downs included. I'm going to miss school so much.
The last length of this journey is just around the corner. The HSC is all that's left. This is going to be the most difficult four weeks to come of my life.
Pictures of the end of school days are uploaded on my Facebook. :)
Cheers.
The last length of this journey is just around the corner. The HSC is all that's left. This is going to be the most difficult four weeks to come of my life.
Pictures of the end of school days are uploaded on my Facebook. :)
Cheers.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Haven't been blogging for the last couple of days, I know. I'm sorry. I've been very busy at school with work and preparations for the end of school.
With only two days of school left, one of which is our Year 12 muck-up day, I've been busy with our boarders' muck-up plans and so forth. You know, we're really only talking about one day of school left. Actual school, where we sit in class and learn. I've been having alot of mixed feelings about leaving school, and it's so hard to explain them in words. Nothing can describe how I feel right now. There are words to describe fear, excitement, sadness and optimism. But is there a word to describe everything in one? I guess confusion may be a word, but come on there's got to be more than that.
I've been thinking alot about how far I've come. From my days in primary school, and on to my middle school years of 7, 8 and 9 in an international school. Right up to my high school years of 10, 11 and 12. I knew that one day I'd leave school, and I was going to feel free and happy and excited. Little did I think about the feelings that would overcome me in the final days of school.
In the last few days I made the effort to appreciate everything -- everything I ever loved, or hated. Everything I never did, I did. It felt as if life as I know it had a new meaning. Life is going to be like this. We are constantly moving forward into the future, and there are going to be times where we'll have no choice but to move on and start anew. We'll meet new people, and make new friends -- at the same time we might even lose a few, yet we still move on. We'll feel sad about making changes, transitions and moving on with life -- and it still won't stop us from moving forward.
I'm really going to miss school. I really will. The classes I had to put up with; the friends who I have known for what feels like a lifetime; the teachers who persistently supported me in every single way; the boarding house life I have adapted so much into; the school I have hated and despised so much when I first came, and have learnt to appreciate it very much now -- I'm going to miss it all.
I'm not sure how to end this entry. I guess all I could say is this is it. Life moves on, and so do we. Christ I feel like crying right now as I write this.
To those who are leaving school this year, to those who are saying goodbye to what we thought at the beginning was hell -- good luck.
Cheers.
PS. Again, it's funny how we like to initially think that time ticks by far too slow for our lives and in the end we find ourselves too far ahead of it that it frightens you. It frightens me anyway.
PPS. Valedictory Dinner tomorrow night for the boarders. I'm so afraid of moving on.
PPPS. Last week's Year 12 Staff-Student dinner was awesome. Food was great, and the fact that we got to mingle with the teachers made it one special night.
Yetpet :)
From left* Kwan, me, Kathy, Nom and Jude.
---
With only two days of school left, one of which is our Year 12 muck-up day, I've been busy with our boarders' muck-up plans and so forth. You know, we're really only talking about one day of school left. Actual school, where we sit in class and learn. I've been having alot of mixed feelings about leaving school, and it's so hard to explain them in words. Nothing can describe how I feel right now. There are words to describe fear, excitement, sadness and optimism. But is there a word to describe everything in one? I guess confusion may be a word, but come on there's got to be more than that.
I've been thinking alot about how far I've come. From my days in primary school, and on to my middle school years of 7, 8 and 9 in an international school. Right up to my high school years of 10, 11 and 12. I knew that one day I'd leave school, and I was going to feel free and happy and excited. Little did I think about the feelings that would overcome me in the final days of school.
In the last few days I made the effort to appreciate everything -- everything I ever loved, or hated. Everything I never did, I did. It felt as if life as I know it had a new meaning. Life is going to be like this. We are constantly moving forward into the future, and there are going to be times where we'll have no choice but to move on and start anew. We'll meet new people, and make new friends -- at the same time we might even lose a few, yet we still move on. We'll feel sad about making changes, transitions and moving on with life -- and it still won't stop us from moving forward.
I'm really going to miss school. I really will. The classes I had to put up with; the friends who I have known for what feels like a lifetime; the teachers who persistently supported me in every single way; the boarding house life I have adapted so much into; the school I have hated and despised so much when I first came, and have learnt to appreciate it very much now -- I'm going to miss it all.
I'm not sure how to end this entry. I guess all I could say is this is it. Life moves on, and so do we. Christ I feel like crying right now as I write this.
To those who are leaving school this year, to those who are saying goodbye to what we thought at the beginning was hell -- good luck.
Cheers.
PS. Again, it's funny how we like to initially think that time ticks by far too slow for our lives and in the end we find ourselves too far ahead of it that it frightens you. It frightens me anyway.
PPS. Valedictory Dinner tomorrow night for the boarders. I'm so afraid of moving on.
PPPS. Last week's Year 12 Staff-Student dinner was awesome. Food was great, and the fact that we got to mingle with the teachers made it one special night.
Yetpet :)
From left* Kwan, me, Kathy, Nom and Jude.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Here's a little piece of information I thought I'd share with everyone!
In 1957, the USSR launched the world's first satellite
into space called Sputnik. Half a year later in 1958,
the Americans launch their
first satellite called Explorer I,
which exploded after lifting off
half a metre from the ground.
Talk about embarrassing.
In 1957, the USSR launched the world's first satellite
into space called Sputnik. Half a year later in 1958,
the Americans launch their
first satellite called Explorer I,
which exploded after lifting off
half a metre from the ground.
Talk about embarrassing.
---
Random. I'd been studying the space race as part of the superpower rivalry during the Cold War earlier tonight. It's interesting anyway.
I've caught a cold. Surprise, surprise. It's weird because I haven't been this sick in the last six months and I'm generally a healthy person compared to others in the boarding house. I have a feeling however that it is a result of stress from school. Ah, my good friend stress.
KvB Raffles College of Design is having an open day, and Ploy and I have decided to go together to check it out. It's my reason to get out of the boarding house to do a bit of shopping after that ;)
I've found that I have so many options to choose from if I don't get into UTS next year. There's TAFE, numerous private colleges like Billy Blue and Raffles, or I could take a half a year or a full year off to do short courses, diplomas and etc to make a portfolio... There're so many thing to choose from that I'm getting confused from it. I still want to go to university, of course. That's my main priority right now -- getting in. But otherwise, where else could I go?
I was sitting in English today, listening for a change. My teacher was talking about imagining ourselves having our schoolies break. She mentioned a beach, crystal clear and blue sea, cocktails beside you... That's what I want to do. I'm hoping mum or dad can help fund for a vacation to Singapore, where I will unleash the party animal within, together with Jude. Then both of us will go to an island or some beautiful resort away from everything and rest on the sand, drinking cocktails all day. Ohh, I can feel it already.
Aside from looking forward to the holidays, I've been studying. Yes I have.
I'm going to bed now. I'm tired and I need to rest.
Cheers.
PS.
I've caught a cold. Surprise, surprise. It's weird because I haven't been this sick in the last six months and I'm generally a healthy person compared to others in the boarding house. I have a feeling however that it is a result of stress from school. Ah, my good friend stress.
KvB Raffles College of Design is having an open day, and Ploy and I have decided to go together to check it out. It's my reason to get out of the boarding house to do a bit of shopping after that ;)
I've found that I have so many options to choose from if I don't get into UTS next year. There's TAFE, numerous private colleges like Billy Blue and Raffles, or I could take a half a year or a full year off to do short courses, diplomas and etc to make a portfolio... There're so many thing to choose from that I'm getting confused from it. I still want to go to university, of course. That's my main priority right now -- getting in. But otherwise, where else could I go?
I was sitting in English today, listening for a change. My teacher was talking about imagining ourselves having our schoolies break. She mentioned a beach, crystal clear and blue sea, cocktails beside you... That's what I want to do. I'm hoping mum or dad can help fund for a vacation to Singapore, where I will unleash the party animal within, together with Jude. Then both of us will go to an island or some beautiful resort away from everything and rest on the sand, drinking cocktails all day. Ohh, I can feel it already.
Aside from looking forward to the holidays, I've been studying. Yes I have.
I'm going to bed now. I'm tired and I need to rest.
Cheers.
PS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAUN :)
(You're probably not be reading this, but at least
the thought counts as something)
(You're probably not be reading this, but at least
the thought counts as something)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
APEC weekend was spent bumming in the city at Kwan's place with herself and Kathy. Beside the fact that we did absolutely nothing productive, we went shopping (where I spent over $400 on clothes and a new fragrance), did alot of walking around, explored the expanding ability of our stomachs to a great extent, had a taste of Kathy's wonderful Kim Chi Bo Gum Bab (unsure of spelling, please excuse -- Kimchi fried rice) had a big sukiyaki dinner at Nom's place, drank (at least I did) a fair bit of alcohol and became great buddies with the employees at VideoEzy in the course of four days.
Oh yes, it was greaaaat fun. The money I spent on clothes was for the Year 12 staff-student dinner next Wednesday. I bought a pair of Nudie skinny jeans, which is something very new to me -- but I vowed myself to make a change to my wardrobe, so I've been in such a shopping mood. God bless my father and the credit card he gave me.
It was funny too, during the long weekend Kwan, Kathy and I would be sitting in the living room of Kwan's apartment playing NinDS, watching movies, eating choco-pie and various Korean treats, and surfing the internet at 50 kilobytes per second -- and every 10 minutes we'd hear protests happening somewhere in the city, echoing throughout. Couple of minutes later, we'd hear police sirens wailing, and the protests would quiet down.
Things seem to be moving very quickly. I'm afraid of how much time I've missed out on studying, and how time seems to be moving too fast to catch up with. At the same time, I'm feeling very excited at the prospect of the end of school and the start of a new beginning that is soon to come. I've been counting the days. We have thirteen days left of Year 12 - of school life. Two weeks later, we'll all be sitting for the exams that will lead us into the next road of life. Another two weeks later, I start my 3-4 month holiday.
And it's stressing sometimes, when I think about it. What if I don't do well in exams? I don't seem to be working hard now - does that mean it's all over for me in the next month and a bit? What if I don't get into the university course I want? Where to after that?
Sigh, damn these transitions of life.
Cheers.
Oh yes, it was greaaaat fun. The money I spent on clothes was for the Year 12 staff-student dinner next Wednesday. I bought a pair of Nudie skinny jeans, which is something very new to me -- but I vowed myself to make a change to my wardrobe, so I've been in such a shopping mood. God bless my father and the credit card he gave me.
It was funny too, during the long weekend Kwan, Kathy and I would be sitting in the living room of Kwan's apartment playing NinDS, watching movies, eating choco-pie and various Korean treats, and surfing the internet at 50 kilobytes per second -- and every 10 minutes we'd hear protests happening somewhere in the city, echoing throughout. Couple of minutes later, we'd hear police sirens wailing, and the protests would quiet down.
---
Things seem to be moving very quickly. I'm afraid of how much time I've missed out on studying, and how time seems to be moving too fast to catch up with. At the same time, I'm feeling very excited at the prospect of the end of school and the start of a new beginning that is soon to come. I've been counting the days. We have thirteen days left of Year 12 - of school life. Two weeks later, we'll all be sitting for the exams that will lead us into the next road of life. Another two weeks later, I start my 3-4 month holiday.
And it's stressing sometimes, when I think about it. What if I don't do well in exams? I don't seem to be working hard now - does that mean it's all over for me in the next month and a bit? What if I don't get into the university course I want? Where to after that?
Sigh, damn these transitions of life.
Cheers.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I was asked about what my plans were for after the HSC again, and as usual I said I was going to stay in Sydney till December when I will go to Speech Night to graduate. I said I'd probably get a job and earn some money for a new camera, or maybe even a holiday. Maybe even take up driving lessons and do my 50 hours to get my P1 licence. I might visit old friends like my Year 8-9 English teacher Mr Bennett and his family who have been nagging me to visit them up on the North coast, or Nurie who's down in Canberra.
It made me think about how I wanted to celebrate my end of school life and the end of the dreadful HSC, and judging from the plans I have made for November it seems so dull and unlike a typical Year 12 student who has finished their HSC and only wants to celebrate. My boarding house friends would all be home, or in another part of the world celebrating - travelling, partying and everything else. I haven't heard much from my KL friends, and I guess they'll have their own plans too.
I'm now weighing up these two options: Fly home 1-2 weeks after the HSC, and catch up with friends and just generally be home. The other option is to stay in Sydney till December, when I will graduate from school life properly and fly home with my mum later. I don't know if I can even go home because mum'll be in Sydney till December.
Right, I've just typed up a whole lot of rubbish that only justifies the stress I've been experiencing in the last couple of days, especially during Maths and Biology classes where I'm literally clenching my teeth and holding in the tears of frustration with myself.
I think I need to sleep.
Cheers.
PS. Boarders' weekend tomorrow afternoon to Sunday. Prepare for dormancy.
PPS. I wish I had more friends. I feel so alone.
It made me think about how I wanted to celebrate my end of school life and the end of the dreadful HSC, and judging from the plans I have made for November it seems so dull and unlike a typical Year 12 student who has finished their HSC and only wants to celebrate. My boarding house friends would all be home, or in another part of the world celebrating - travelling, partying and everything else. I haven't heard much from my KL friends, and I guess they'll have their own plans too.
I'm now weighing up these two options: Fly home 1-2 weeks after the HSC, and catch up with friends and just generally be home. The other option is to stay in Sydney till December, when I will graduate from school life properly and fly home with my mum later. I don't know if I can even go home because mum'll be in Sydney till December.
Right, I've just typed up a whole lot of rubbish that only justifies the stress I've been experiencing in the last couple of days, especially during Maths and Biology classes where I'm literally clenching my teeth and holding in the tears of frustration with myself.
I think I need to sleep.
Cheers.
PS. Boarders' weekend tomorrow afternoon to Sunday. Prepare for dormancy.
PPS. I wish I had more friends. I feel so alone.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
You know those times when you're just thinking to yourself, conversing with the back of your head about what you thought about last night's movie, or this morning's breakfast? Rhetorical questions, are they not? And of course, there are the deeper things that you ask yourself about like the relationships in your life and just life in general.
I hoarded myself with rhetorical questions today, lots of them. I asked myself important questions about my presence in Sydney. I asked myself what I was doing in Sydney, my purpose. I asked myself whether it would be a waste if I don't do well in the HSC and in the end don't get into the university course of my choice. I asked myself if giving up now is the right option. I asked myself if there's enough time to turn the tables, to make my final year at school right.
I asked myself those questions in hope that I would change myself. Perhaps, if I asked enough questions like that I would feel motivated to act. Perhaps, if I kept asking the right questions I could find an answer to everything and it'll be all right.
Two weeks ago I felt studious, and motivated. I got on that train, and it felt great. Couple of days ago I hopped off for a breather, and the train left without me. Along with it, my belongings -- all of which represent health, self-control, confidence, consistency, motivation and others of the kind. The train is still moving, at a constant speed and I'm trying so hard to get back on my feet to run after it. I just can't find the motivation to get moving again.
I really hate this. I really do. I'm having trouble with my mother and sister. I don't talk to my sister and I refuse to even care about her (why should I when she makes it clear that she doesn't want anyone to be concerned for her). I've been hanging up midway through every conversation I've had with my mum for the past week, after she left Sydney. I just can't bare to listen to her. It stresses me out. I'm so tired, and it really sucks when your family don't know how the hell you feel. Sucks even more when you just can't communicate your feelings to your family because they don't understand.
Perhaps I'm just tired, and this whole entry's been a load of jack shit. I don't know. I'm going to brush my teeth, continue reading Wuthering Heights and hope that tomorrow will be a new beginning.
Cheers.
I hoarded myself with rhetorical questions today, lots of them. I asked myself important questions about my presence in Sydney. I asked myself what I was doing in Sydney, my purpose. I asked myself whether it would be a waste if I don't do well in the HSC and in the end don't get into the university course of my choice. I asked myself if giving up now is the right option. I asked myself if there's enough time to turn the tables, to make my final year at school right.
I asked myself those questions in hope that I would change myself. Perhaps, if I asked enough questions like that I would feel motivated to act. Perhaps, if I kept asking the right questions I could find an answer to everything and it'll be all right.
Two weeks ago I felt studious, and motivated. I got on that train, and it felt great. Couple of days ago I hopped off for a breather, and the train left without me. Along with it, my belongings -- all of which represent health, self-control, confidence, consistency, motivation and others of the kind. The train is still moving, at a constant speed and I'm trying so hard to get back on my feet to run after it. I just can't find the motivation to get moving again.
I really hate this. I really do. I'm having trouble with my mother and sister. I don't talk to my sister and I refuse to even care about her (why should I when she makes it clear that she doesn't want anyone to be concerned for her). I've been hanging up midway through every conversation I've had with my mum for the past week, after she left Sydney. I just can't bare to listen to her. It stresses me out. I'm so tired, and it really sucks when your family don't know how the hell you feel. Sucks even more when you just can't communicate your feelings to your family because they don't understand.
Perhaps I'm just tired, and this whole entry's been a load of jack shit. I don't know. I'm going to brush my teeth, continue reading Wuthering Heights and hope that tomorrow will be a new beginning.
Cheers.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Daniel and Satsuki,
engaged.
The men who I love are now under
a new criteria:
married.
Oh well, congratulations to the two! :)
Click picture for the story.
